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I had to do something to amuse myself!

Heather / Female

Topics with a * by them, inspired/used with credit to Little Britian (BBC) and ** is inspired/used by Monty Python!



Heather is no but yeh but no but yeh but no but yeh but no but yeh but no but yeh but no coz she's never even had sex apart from one time 8 months ago but apart from that she's a complete virgin.*

Heather loves her job. That's why she saves it for later.

Heather is so bored at work, she has petrified and is now used as a paper weight

Heather 's father had a profound influence on her, he was a lunatic

Heather is wondering: Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Heather has found a witch! May she burn her?**

Heather is not gonna hurt ya... she's just gonna bash your brains in

Heather cannot be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being

Heather is America's next top model!

Heather is wondering: if you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

Heather is trying to fix her husband. He say's he's broke.

Heather is shaking it like a polaroid picture

Heather is gonna get medieval on your ass

Heather is a rebel without a clue

Heather is no longer the knight who says NI, she is now the knight who says ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!**

Heather knows that men have feelings too; she just doesn't really care!

Heather loves everyone and baby you're next.

Heather bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Heather thinks that strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government **

Heather loves being a writer. What she can't stand is the paperwork.

Heather doesn't do decaf!

Heather only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop.

Heather sooo cant believe you just said that... she smoked like once for 2 years when she was like 9 an she only drinks to numb the pain in her worthless life so you're well out of order!*

Heather is wondering if Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding

Heather is yeh but no but yeh, she soooo cant believe you just said that she never even done nothin or nothin, shat up!*

Heather is preciousssssssssssssssss!

Heather is as confused as a hungry baby in a strip club.